


The Way You Make Me Feel

by garciasfluffypen



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: A lotta angst, Age gap relationship, Bondage kink, College AU, F/F, F/M, Mommy Kink, a lotta crying, a lotta smut, i cried writing this a teeny bit, imagine s13 jj for this, it's a reader insert just like aurora, jj also has no michael or henry sorry fellas, jj and will are a thing of the past, moving over from another site that made me annoyed, rosaline never d worded but mentions of it are in the story to kinda comply with cannon, studentXteacher AU, there's a couple of kinky moments as well, to be exact, y/n has some issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-13 13:34:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 17,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29029515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/garciasfluffypen/pseuds/garciasfluffypen
Summary: There was no way this was happening. This couldn't be happening. I was just having a bad dream, right? I was going to wake up in my bed with my alarm going off, and this would all just be the first day of the semester jitters. That had to be what was happening. I pinched myself, making sure that I was dreaming.I wasn't dreaming.I DO NOT OWN THE CHARACTERS OF CRIMINAL MINDS. ALL RIGHTS GO TO THE RESPECTIVE WRITERS.
Relationships: Elle Greenaway/Emily Prentiss, Jennifer "JJ" Jareau/Reader
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

“Y/N, lets go!” Elle whined, pulling at my arm. “We’re gonna be late! Derek and Emily are downstairs waiting for us.” 

“I just need to put on lipstick, Elle.” 

“You can put it on in the car, let's go you lazy ass.” 

I jokingly sighed as I got out of my chair, making sure to grab my purse and room key before following Elle into the hallway. Somehow she had convinced me to come to this club that she and Emily frequented, and quite often, might I add. I was never much of a partier until I met Elle my freshman year, and since then we had become inseparable. I met her in my freshman year criminology class, and she introduced me to her girlfriend Emily Prentiss. They had been together since junior year of high school, according to Elle, and they were absolutely, utterly in love with each other. It was disgusting. 

We slid out the front door, waving to Aaron Hotchner, the DA who absolutely adored us, him smiling back brightly as we walked outside. Derek’s car was parked a few feet from the front door, Emily standing outside to greet Elle with open arms. I fake gagged as I hopped around them into the passenger's seat, giving Derek a fist bump.

“Are you ready for your first ever club experience, Y/N?”

“I… I think so.”

Elle and Emily slid into the backseat. “Don’t worry babes, we’ll get you someone to go home with.” 

“Elle, I love you so so  _ so _ much, but it’s the night before the first day of classes. I don’t think I’ll be going home with anyone tonight.” 

“Mmhmm.. we’ll see about that.”

The car was filled with laughter and pre-game music as Derek drove us to the club, the three of them conspiring about who I would go home with that night. If I’m going to be completely honest, I 100% did not plan on going home with anyone except for a drunken Elle tonight- that was, if she didn’t go to Emily’s apartment. I just wanted to get to bed, but gave up resisting when Elle said she would cut up my $200 fake i.d. 

We pulled around back and parked in the first available spot, the four of us hopping out and making our way towards the door. I made sure to pull out the correct I.D, remembering the first time Elle tried to take me clubbing and accidentally trying to get in with my proper state I.D. The bouncer at the door, David Rossi, smiled at Derek and just let us inside, leading me to wonder what the story was behind those two. Right away, Elle and Emily went to the bar, getting us all shots while Derek and I found a table to sit at. 

“Alright party people, here’s to a new school year!” 

The shot slid down my throat, a burning sensation following not too far after. No matter how many shots I took with Elle, the burning always came. She said I wasn’t “conditioned” enough… whatever that meant. A few shots in and I was ready to go, grabbing Elle’s hand as she dragged Emily and I out to the dance floor. The three of us swayed in time to the music, some EDM club remix blasting through the speakers as we let the alcohol take over our system. Before I knew it, Derek was wrapped around another girl, shooting me a wink as he disappeared into the crowd. I chuckled to myself- of course he would find someone. Elle and Emily had disappeared as well, leaving me alone. I felt a pair of hands wrap around my waist as we continued to dance to the newest remix that was on, and I felt myself leaning back into their touch. Long blonde locks fell over my shoulder as my head fell back, falling into the crook of their neck. I didn’t even have to get a full look at them to know that I most definitely was not going back to the dorm tonight. 

The way our bodies melded together was… was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of relationships, but none that ever felt like we had meshed so perfectly like I was with this faceless, nameless person I was grinding against. We danced through a few more songs before the person grabbed my hand, pulling me towards a darker corner of the club. I got a better look at their face, and God my legs turned to jello. The person was a she, and she was absolutely stunning. Her eyes were a bright blue and I swear I could see the sky in them. She was wearing a tight red dress that highlighted all of her curves, and hugged her in all the right places. Her heels made her a couple inches taller than me, but I was okay with that- I’m a sucker for height differences. Her long blonde hair reached down to her middle back, and was lightly curled, but had started to lose it's curl due to the humidity of the room. Her eyes locked into mine as she pinned me against the wall, a smirk forming on her face. She leant down to my ear and with the huskiest voice ever, whispered:

“Your place or mine?”

A barely audible “yours” slipped out of my lips as we walked towards the front of the club, me making sure that we passed our table so I could grab my purse and phone. I linked my fingers with hers as we somehow got outside without my friends seeing us, where she pushed me up against the wall and with a cocked brow, flickered her eyes towards my mouth. 

“You can kiss me, you don’t have to ask.”

“I like consent. Consent is sexy.” 

Her lips met mine and I had to brace myself against the wall. My body exploded with feelings that I never knew I had, making me feel good in places that hadn’t felt this good in a long time. I grabbed a fistfull of her hair, trying to pull her closer to me. My free hand explored her body, doing my very best not to strip her here and now in the parking lot of whatever club it was that Derek bought us to. She broke off the kiss and started moving down my neck, leaving open mouthed kisses down until she reached my collar bone, pushing my hair out of the way before leaving a mark. I let out a shuddering breath, feeling my nails dig into the skin that was exposed above her dress. She pulled away from my body and grabbed my hand, bringing me back to her car. 

The car ride was decently short, and we barely made it to the apartment before she shoved me back against the wall, mirroring the position we were in at the club. She grabbed my hips with her hands and I swear the darks of her eyes got even darker than they were as they stared at me with pure lust. 

“Before we continue, is there anything I need to know?”

“Such as?”

“Safe words? Stuff you don’t do?”

“I don’t do anal.” I paused. “Um… I think that’s it.” 

With a nod, she pushed my hair out of my face and started kissing me again, this time more feverish than before. More needy. I returned it with the same fever, feeling the need growing between my legs. Her hands fell down to my ass and she squeezed, prompting me to jump up and wrap my legs around her waist, letting her lead me to the bedroom. She tossed me onto the bed, pulling at my heels and fishnets, ripping them off with ease. I could feel my breathing get heavier as her hand went down between my legs, her meeting me at my lips and kissing me again. I groaned in pleasure as she ran a finger across the fabric of my underwear, pulling my legs apart as much as my dress would let me to give her more room. With only a single look, I maneuvered myself so she could reach the zipper on the back of my dress, pulling it down my body leaving me only in the black lace set that Elle had gotten me for my birthday the month prior. She took me in before running her hands down my body, sending goosebumps all over. She went back up to my bra, unhooking it with one hand and tossing it haphazardly somewhere on the floor. Her mouth met my breast and another moan fell out, my hands going to rest around her shoulders and in her hair as she continued to massage my nipple with her tongue. Before I knew it she switched to the other one, doing what she was previously doing on my other breast, and I could tell I wasn’t going to last much longer before I was begging her to do more. As if she was reading my mind, she made her way down my stomach, leaving a trail of kisses and a couple of hickeys- she was smart, leaving most of them in spots where I could easily hide them. Finally, she got down to my underwear and looked up at me, almost as if she were asking me if she could proceed. I nodded, lifting my hips so she could slide my underwear off me. 

Her fingers fell perfectly into the wetness between my legs, and it felt like they truly belonged there. My back arched as her fingers moved, doing things that I never knew I needed until this very moment. Her thumb brushed my clit as she slid a finger in, gasping at how wet I was before adding a second finger closely thereafter. I groaned as she pumped in and out of me, grabbing at the bedsheets as I could feel the knot in my stomach forming. My eyes popped open in surprise as her lips met my center, continuing to do what her thumb was previously. Sounds of pleasure fell from my lips as she continued to bring me closer to orgasm, not even attempting to slow down. Finally, the fireworks came and I let out a string of noises, watching her continue to go down on me while I rode out my high. She met me back up at my mouth and locked her lips with mine, letting me taste myself before I started to do what I wanted to her. 

I pushed at her hip, testing my boundaries as she pulled me up into a sitting position, letting me undo the zipper on her dress so we could take it off. To my surprise, she wasn’t wearing a bra or underwear. I gawked at her, taking in her absolutely toned abs, running my hands down them as she moved herself off of my lap, letting me take the reins. I started by trailing kisses down her jaw and down her neck, leaving a nice hickey before I met her lips again, massaging her breasts in my hands. Before I could register what was happening she grabbed my hand and pulled it down to her core, moaning as my fingers met her clit. I started rubbing, my other hand going to tangle myself in her hair, deepening our kiss. She pulled away for air and put her head on my shoulder, panting heavily as she got closer and closer. A moan fell out of her lips as she came, her nails leaving scratch marks down my back. We sat there for a second, both of us steadying our breathing before she took her head off of my shoulder, looking at me again. Before we could get to the awkward ‘will-she-won’t-she’ situation, I started to push myself off, but was pulled back down.

“What are you doing?”

“I was- don’t you want me to leave?”

“Leave?” her eyebrows raised. “Haven’t you heard of aftercare?” 

“I-” I hesitated. “I mean yeah but…”

“You haven’t had anyone give you aftercare?” I shook my head. “Good thing you met me. Come on, let's go shower.” 

“Are you-”

“Yes, I’m sure.”

She took my hand and led me to her ensuite, smiling lightly as she walked over to the shower and turned it on. I stood there awkwardly, not sure what to do in this situation. All my previous hookups never dealt with aftercare, so I was completely clueless when it came to any of this stuff. She waited until the water was warm enough before reaching her hand out, beckoning me to take it. I took her hand as we both got into the shower, the steam molding itself around us as she turned to look at me. She let me get under the water first, and I got my front side wet before turning around, hissing and jumping out of the stream as I remembered there were multiple scratches down my back from earlier. I let out a nervous chuckle as she reached down to turn the temperature down, letting me wait a second before I went back under the water, this time being able to stay. I wet my hair and face, grabbing her and pulling her under the water with me. The two of us giggled, my hands raising to push her now wet hair out of her face so I could get another look at her beauty. She turned around and grabbed the shampoo, holding it up so I could take it first if I wanted to. I put some on my hands and stepped out of the water, moving around her so I was standing where she was previously, lathering the shampoo into my hair while I watched her wash the sweat off. I grabbed the bottle for her as she stepped out, moving so I was back under the water so I could wash everything out. 

By the time both of us were done, it was later than I anticipated it being. The two of us dried off together and before I could even get a chance to leave, she handed me some of her clothes and told me with a silent look to put them on. I gladly took them, feeling the cold air hitting my skin. I slipped the shirt on, noticing that it was an old college shirt of hers from the University of Pittsburgh English Department. I pulled on the sweats she gave me and looked at her sheepishly as she beckoned to me, patting the bed next to her. 

“It’s okay, hon.”

I crawled into bed next to her, letting her cover us both with the soft duvet cover, curling into her side. She ran her fingers through my hair and I slowly felt my eyes shut, falling asleep.

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

The sun shined through the curtains, laying neatly across the bed. I yawned and stretched as I ignored the pounding headache I had, my mind shifting tracks as I realized that the bed was empty. And I wasn’t in my room. Bits and pieces of the night before started to come back as I sat up, rubbing at my eyes. I looked at the clock on the bedside table, which read 8am in big red numbers. I had two hours till my first class of the day started, so I had more than enough time to get back to campus. I went to get out of bed when I noticed a note, which looked like it had been written in a hurry. 

_ I know, waking up to an empty bed was the last thing you wanted, but sadly I have to be in my office today by 8am. I left some coffee on the kitchen counter for you, as well as some painkillers- you might want them. I hope you had a great night :)  _

I smiled as I lightly ran my finger across the paper, knowing that even though she probably left in a hurry, she still took the time to write the note. It was sweet, seeing that a one night stand like her could be sweeter than anyone I had ever hooked up with in my entire life. Granted, there was a small chance I would ever see her again, but the thought made its way into my mind, finding a little nook to settle itself in as I quietly manifested myself seeing her again after last night. And knowing how needy I could get, I most definitely would be longing for her touch within the week. After grabbing all of my clothes from her floor I made my way out into the kitchen, smiling as I saw the painkillers sitting next to the coffee maker, which was still warm. Next to it was my purse and my phone sitting out on the counter. I scrolled through my notifications, chuckling as I had a few drunk texts from Emily and Elle, as well as one from Derek making sure I was okay. I shot a quick response to all of them to let them know I was alive and looked up the directions back to the dorm as I sipped on the coffee, noticing that her place was only a fifteen minute walk from my dorm. What were the chances? I ripped a piece of paper off the pad that had been left out on the kitchen counter, writing a quick little  _ i had fun… call me again sometime ;)  _ with my number, leaving it on the counter for her. 

I made it back to my dorm by 8:30, and made my way upstairs to my room on the fourth floor, unlocking it and going inside, closing the door behind me. I leant up against it, smiling to myself. I couldn’t believe I did that. I ran my fingers through my hair, letting out a little laugh. Was that actually me who went home with a stranger last night? Little Miss “I-go-to-bed-at-ten-pm” ended up going home with a smoking hot chick, getting some of the best sex of her life and on top of that, got the aftercare that I truly and desperately needed. I started to walk over to my closet, stopping when I saw my reflection in the full length mirror that I had hung up on my wall. A nice hickey was forming on the nape of my neck, and I inwardly cursed- I totally forgot she had left one there at some point during the night. And of course, the one time that I truly needed them, I didn’t have any turtlenecks. Great. I sent a text to Elle, knowing that she of all people would be able to help me, considering the amount of marks Emily left on her all the time. 

**[8:34am]** hickey control. help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Within five minutes my door was opening, and Elle was standing in what I liked to call the “mini hallway” to my room. She looked me up and down, and that’s when I realized I definitely was still wearing her clothes from the night before. 

“Oh, she’s alive!”

“Yeah yeah save it. Help.” 

“Damn okay, someone’s sassy this morning.” Elle chuckled as she went to my desk, grabbing what minimal makeup I had and turning to face me. “Do you have any color correcting concealers?”

“Any what?” 

“Figured. Okay, uh… well, we’re gonna hope for the best.” 

Elle went to work after a quick consult with Emily over Facetime, and by the time she was done it was pretty much gone. She wiggled her eyebrows at me and I slapped her on the arm, giggling at her absurd expressions.

“So, what happened? I need deets woman!” Elle plopped herself onto my desk. 

“Well, she took me back to her place, and uh…. yeah.” 

“That’s it?” Elle’s jaw dropped in faux surprise. “No sexy times?”

“Oh there were sexy times. I’m just not telling you any of it. That’s for me to know, and you to never ever find out.” 

Elle rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Anyway, what classes do you have today?”

“Um…” I looked for the paper with my schedule, finding it underneath one of the textbooks I had recently bought. “I have English 3120 with Jennifer Jareau, um… Politics of the Criminal Justice System and Criminology Theory.” 

“I don’t have any of those classes.”

“You’re a year ahead of me, you dipshit. You’ve probably already taken them.”

“Yeah, I have.” she chuckled, flipping her hair. “I’m so mad I have to leave you this year.”

“Then don’t.” I joked. “Fail your senior year so we can graduate together.” 

Rolling her eyes, she hopped off of my desk where she was sitting. “Ha ha. You’re funny.”

“I’m filled with jokes. Of course I’m funny.” 

We chatted for about twenty more minutes after I changed from the sweats to a pair of jeans, Elle making a remark about how good her shirt looked on me before continuing on to tell me about her night with Emily. We both left for our respective classes, splitting at the doors of the Criminal Justice Building and going our separate ways. I sat down in the back row of the lecture hall, tucking myself away in a back corner like I always did. I grabbed my iPad from my bag, smiling to myself as the picture that Elle, Emily, Derek and I took on the first day of school last year popped up on the screen. Going to my notify app, I doodled aimlessly until class started, making sure I got down all the important dates before class ended. Even if a professor did say that she was going to put stuff up on our class website, I always made sure that I wrote down the dates just to be safe. Politics of the Criminal Justice System was the same way, and our professor spent most of his time going over the syllabus and making sure we knew what we were going over in the class. 

By the time that class was done, it was lunch time and I had just under two hours before my english class. I was able to stop by the campus cafe, grabbing myself the feta and spinach panini that I got every time I came. I played a few rounds of solitaire before I had to walk to the English building, which was about a twenty minute walk from the campus cafe. The walk across campus was probably one of my favorite things about this school. During the fall you could see all of the leaves turning colors, and sometimes if you were lucky you could run into a squirrel or two on your way to class. Elle would always carry crackers in her backpack so she could feed them, and whenever they saw her they would run over as fast as their little legs could carry them. During the spring and summer, students would hang hammocks between the trees on the quad, some doing homework, some napping, and some just chilling out. Student life was always pretty busy on campus, since most of the students chose to live here rather than commute. Another thing I loved was that I could see different faces every day on my walks, and 9 times out of 10 I would run into Professor Alvez and his dog, Roxy. Professor Alvez- or Luke, as he insisted I call him- ran my Intro to Criminal Justice Class, and I became pretty close to him. He helped me score an internship with the FBI for my sophomore year, and it was the talk of the program. Although the internship was only for the year, it would get me a leg up in the future when I did actually apply to the FBI.

I had vowed ever since I was little that I would save people someday. At first, I thought I wanted to be a Police Officer, but then I got hooked into the world of being a firefighter after watching  _ Chicago P.D _ reruns with my adoptive brother, Matt. That’s when we found the show  _ F.B.I  _ and I fell in love with the idea of becoming an FBI agent, especially after Matt had told me what they were able to accomplish and how many lives they could save. I decided then and there that I was going to go into Criminal Justice, and started looking into colleges with those programs my freshman year of highschool. Yes, I know that could be considered early, but I’m an overachiever. Anyway, I made it into the English building with ten minutes to spare, and I found my classroom pretty easily. Once again, I sat towards the back, pulling out all of my supplies. The rest of the class slowly filed in, and I could see a few people from my major who were there on requirements, and the group of English majors that hung out in my dorm. I opened a new journal on my notify app, titling this one “Technical Communications”, which was the title of the class. If I wanted to go in as a media liaison for the FBI, I’d need as many of these classes as I could get. My iPad screen lit up, notifying me that I got a text. It was from Matt.

**[2:43pm- Matt]** I know I’m late but have a fun first day of the semester! Sending love from London <3

I should mention that Matt is in the FBI, which is also another reason that I wanted to join. Not just because he’s my brother, but because he’s one of the strongest people I know when it came to stuff like this, and I always wanted to work with him. And I also may or may not have promised him when we were high one night that I’d work with him at the FBI and that he had permission to slap me if I didn’t hold up my end of the promise. I chuckled to myself at the memory, shooting a response back before class started at 2:45. Right on the dot, the doors to the lecture hall closed and a familiar scent wafted past me, causing me to freeze momentarily. Where the hell did I know that smell from? I shook the thoughts out of my head as I looked up towards the front of the hall, noticing a very eerily familiar figure standing at the front of the room. It couldn’t be, could it? There was no possible way that the hot woman I hooked up with the night previously was my teacher… right? 

“Hello class, and welcome to English 3120- Technical Communications. My name is Jennifer Jareau, and I’ll be your teacher.” 

That’s when I was met with the same blue eyes I had seen the night previously.

_ Shit _ . 

  
  



	3. Chapter 3

There was no way this was happening. This couldn’t be happening. I was just having a bad dream, right? I was going to wake up in my bed with my alarm going off, and this would all just be the first day of the semester jitters. That had to be what was happening. I pinched myself, making sure that I was dreaming.

I wasn’t dreaming. 

The woman- Jennifer, snapped her gaze away from me. “So, Technical Communications. What is it? Well, what you’re questioning happens to be a very broad term.” 

I did everything but make eye contact with Jennifer. Ms. Jareau. Were we on a first name basis? I mean… I did see her naked. But that was before I knew she was going to be my teacher. Oh god, what have I gotten myself into? I could not be attracted to my teacher. This was wrong on so many levels. So many levels that I couldn’t see where they ended on the pyramid of levels. I’m royally fucked. Oh my god, what was Elle going to say?! 

“What does a technical communicator do?” she looked at me, almost as if she could hear my thoughts. “You, in the University of Pittsburgh shirt- what’s your name?” 

“Um.. Y/N Y/L/N”

“Ms. Y/L/N, what do you think a technical communicator does?” 

I thought for a second. “Probably help people who need specific information, I would think.” 

“Exactly. You know your stuff.” she smirked, turning back towards her powerpoint, clicking to the next slide. “The main purpose of a technical communicator is to assist users who need specific information on completing tasks, using products, so on so forth. Not only that, but it helps out businesses in different ways…” 

I looked back down to my iPad, realizing now that I had zero notes written down and she was already on the fifth slide. I bit the inside of my lip and forced myself to pay attention, pushing back every single dirty thought about her that was forming in the forefront of my brain because now was not the time to be thinking of her in bed last night. I did my best to write down as many notes as I could moving forward, knowing that I would have to go back to the slideshow later- that was, if she even put the slideshow up on the class website. It was hard for me to focus, and I couldn’t help but let my mind keep wandering, only coming back to reality when I could feel her eyes staring at me. By the time class was over, I had the smallest amount of notes I think I had ever taken in a class, and she had whizzed through the slideshow. I knew then and there that I was more screwed than I thought. 

“Alright, that concludes your first class. Reminder to go over the slideshow on the class website and come prepared on Wednesday to talk about your thoughts on Chapter 1!” 

I slowly packed my things away, making sure I was one of the last people in the classroom before locking eyes with Ms. Jareau. We both stood there for a second before she grabbed her bag and started walking towards me, silently telling me to follow her. I waited a second before following her, trying to make it less obvious that we were both going to where I presumed her office was, just in case anyone else was watching. I followed her down the hall and towards her office, smiling politely at her as I slipped past her, waiting for her to shut the door. 

“You’re still in my shirt.” she smiled as she walked towards her desk, leaning against it. “It looks good on you.”

“I uh-” I nervously gulped. “Thank you?” 

A chuckle fell from her lips. “So, last night…” 

“If I had known-”

“You don’t have to be sorry, Y/N.” I swooned at the sound of my name falling out of her mouth. “I had a lot of fun last night. And I’m sorry I had to leave before you woke up.” 

“Wh-” I paused, trying to find the right words. “Why didn’t you…. I uh…. fuck. I’m sorry. I-”

“Hey,” she came over to me, placing a comforting hand on my arm. “Take all the time you need.” 

“Did you know I was going to be in your class?” 

“No. Not at all. I didn’t even know you went here.” she paused. “Are you okay?” 

“I… uh… you’re my teacher. I’ve seen you naked. You’re my teacher and oh my  _ God _ I saw you naked.”

I backed up so I was against the wall, sliding down until I was sitting on her floor. My mind was going a mile a minute- what the hell was I supposed to do in this situation? I literally didn’t know what I was supposed to do. Ethically, this was wrong. This was all sorts of wrong. Ms. Jareau came and sat down next to me, waiting for me to catch my breath while I gathered my thoughts. She was so calm, and it unnerved me. How could she be so calm?

“Ms. Jareau-”

“JJ.” 

“Ms-” I paused. “ _ JJ _ , how are you… why are you so calm?”

“Oh believe me, I’m freaking out too.” She paused, choosing her next words carefully. “But I really don’t want this to end.”

“Neither do I.” I replied, my voice suddenly becoming very quiet. “I don’t know what to do.”

“We can work through it together, yeah?” I looked up at JJ, who had concern lacing her eyes. “I know it’s weird, and I’m just as confused as you are- I’ve never in my life accidentally hooked up with a student-”

“Accidentally?” my eyebrows raised. 

“Y/N-”

“No I… I see what last night was. An accident.” 

Was I acting rash? Yeah, of course I was. But in the timespan of two hours, I had learned that I fucked my teacher and she wanted to keep fucking me. I definitely wasn’t thinking straight right now. I pushed myself up and rushed over to my bag, grabbing it and making my way towards the door. 

“Please, Y/N I-”

“No, Jennifer. I get it.” I turned around, tears in my eyes. “I’m just an accident.” 

With that, I pushed open the door, walking away as fast as I could. I needed to get out of there. 

\-- 

I don’t know how long I cried, but when I looked out the window the sun was setting. I don't know why I was getting so worked up about this. JJ made it clear- last night was an accident. That’s all she thought of it. So I logically should think of it that way too, right? I couldn’t help but think of it as anything but an accident. Something brought us together in that club last night, and it was something neither of us were going to be able to ignore. I finally checked my phone, realizing that almost four hours had passed since I got back from her office. I had a few missed calls from Elle, a text from Derek and two from an unknown number. 

**[5:44pm-unknown]** Y/N, I’m sorry. Whenever you’re ready to talk, please let me know. 

**[5:47pm-unknown]** Also, you can keep the shirt. It looks good on you. 

I let out a teary chuckle. Even after everything we had gone through in her office, she still wanted to be nice to me. I could tell she was different, and that sinking feeling in my stomach came back. What was going to happen with us? She had said earlier she didn’t want us… whatever we were… she didn’t want to stop. But we had to, didn’t we? We couldn’t let this go on. Not while I was in her class. I looked at myself in my mirror, realizing how shitty I looked at that moment. I was crying over a one night stand, still in her shirt. A shirt that smelled just like her. A mix of the beach and woods, almost like nature was giving me a hug. I hugged the fabric closer to my body, the softness making me feel like I was surrounded by the fluffy blanket that she slept under. I was shook out of my thoughts as my phone rang, Elle’s name flashing across the screen. I cleared my throat, trying to make it seem like I hadn’t been crying for four straight hours. 

“ _ Oh look who finally answered! _ ” 

I rolled my eyes. “Haven’t you heard of a thing called naps?” 

“ _ You never take naps _ .” 

“Elle, please I-”

“Too late, I’m already outside!” 

Elle barged in, and stopped as she saw how I looked. She shut the door behind her while dropping all of her stuff and came over to me, wrapping me in a hug. Before I knew it the tears started to fall again, and I wrapped my arms around her, grasping onto the back of her shirt. When I calmed down enough, we sat down on my bed and I grabbed my Baby Yoda plush, squeezing it to my chest.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“I-” I paused. “Honestly? I don’t know if I can.” 

Elle raised an eyebrow. “How so?”

I hesitated. I wanted to tell her what had happened so bad. I really did, but I didn’t even get to talk to Jennifer-  _ JJ,  _ I had to remind myself- about anything yet. About what we were… or what we were going to be. 

“Just forget it, it’s dumb.” I hopped off of my bed, grabbing a tea bag. “It’s just dumb and I’m over reacting like I always do.”

“You’re not dumb, Y/N. You’re allowed to have feelings.” Elle looked at me. “Feelings are valid. Especially yours.” 

“I know I just- I don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to…”

“To what?”

“She made me feel so good, Elle. Better than anyone I’ve ever been with.” I turned to face her, trying to push back tears. “But why does it feel so wrong?” 

“Oh honey…” 

Elle hopped off the bed, bringing me in for another hug as I started to cry again, my feelings suddenly becoming more overwhelming than before. I honestly didn’t know what to do, and I was scared. Scared because all I wanted to do was be in her arms right now, and I didn’t know why. Scared because all I had left of her right now was her shirt, and now it was covered in my tears. 

Scared because this was unethical as hell, and she could lose her job because of me. 

Elle rubbed my back as I came down from yet another crying fit, and I rubbed at my eyes furiously. I shouldn’t be sitting here crying over her. I was an independent, strong woman who didn’t need anyone to lean on. Except Elle. 

“Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah I… yeah.” I shot her a small smile. “I think I’m just overtired, honestly.” 

“Happens to the best of us. I’ll make you some tea, go get ready for bed, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Elle smiled at me as I grabbed a fresh change of clothes and my phone, going into the bathroom and shutting the door behind me. I turned on the lights and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror, silently cursing at myself for getting so worked up about it. I opened my texts and put JJ’s contact in, just so I wouldn’t lose her number if we ever… well, the chance was slim but I was hoping it would happen again. 

**[7:59pm]** thank you. i’m in classes til 4 tomorrow, would anytime after that work for you?

I turned on my “Bad Bitch” playlist as I stripped, turning on the water a second later. I took a second to look at the scratch marks down my back, realizing how long and red they were. I was no stranger to scratches, but these were probably the craziest ones I’ve had in awhile. When I knew the water was ready I stepped in, preparing myself for the sting from the scratches on my back. It wasn’t as bad this time, and I continued on with my shower, doing everything I normally did before bed. When I was done, I hopped out and dried off my hair, wrapping the towel around my body as I grabbed my nightly skin care stuff. I did my nighttime routine and threw on my pajamas, walking back out to see Elle lounging and scrolling through Tik Tok. When she saw me come out she handed me the cup of tea I tried to make before I broke down, and I gave her a silent thank you as I sat on my bed. Elle made sure to check that I was okay before she left, promising to check up on me in the morning. My phone buzzed, and JJ’s name popped up on the screen.

**[8:54pm-JJ]** I can meet you after 4:45. 

Maybe we  _ could _ fix things.

  
  



	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw; heavy petting/making out

The September air hit my face as I walked towards JJ’s apartment building, the two of us deciding to meet there instead of at her office. I hugged my sweater closer to my chest, wishing I had worn one of my sweatshirts instead of my stupid high school drama club sweater that was at least five years old now. But I was nervous, so I wasn’t thinking about what I was wearing this morning. I was mostly thinking about what was going to happen in that apartment. But also because I didn’t know what I was going to do with myself if we officially ended things. I couldn’t begin to imagine what my life would be like, and it sent me on a spiral in the hours leading up to our talk. I somehow was able to force myself to focus enough to get some semi-coherent notes, knowing that I’d need to look over all of them again before my next class. 

I walked through the front gates of the building, remembering to punch in the code she told me that would ring her buzzer. Seconds later the front door unlocked, and I made my way inside, going to the elevator and clicking the button for the seventh floor. The ride up felt longer than it should have, and by the time the doors opened I was ready to catapult myself out. I fixed my composure and walked down the hall to her door, knocking lightly. I heard a muffled “coming!” and waited, my fingers nervously drumming on the straps of my bookbag, which I had shoved an extra pair of clothes and my nighttime stuff in this morning-just in case, you know? You can never be too prepared. 

“Y/N, hey.” JJ swallowed, her hand cupped under her mouth. “Come in.” 

I slid inside, walking past her as she shut the door. I set my bag down by my shoes, standing there for a second as she walked past me back to the couch. 

“Sorry, I was in the middle of shoving my face with sushi. Do you want any?” 

“Oh I-” I paused. “I’m good.” 

JJ raised an eyebrow. “Okay.” 

There was an awkward silence between us before I noticed she wanted me to sit on the couch, quickly making my way over and sitting on the opposite end. 

“I want to start by saying, I did not think of Sunday night as a mistake.” JJ looked me dead in the eye. 

“I know. I just… overreacted. Everything was hitting me like a ton of bricks and I… I didn’t know how to react. It’s not every day you find out you’ve fucked your teacher.” 

JJ chuckled. “It’s absolutely terrifying, and I want you to know that I’m scared too. I taught myself how to be calm in situations like that, and I should have phrased what I said differently.”

“It’s not your fault, JJ.” I looked up at her. “If anything, it’s mine. I’m just a 20 year old college girl who’s trying to find herself.” 

Her eyes widened. “You’re 2o?”

“Yeah…?” I questioned. “What made you- oh. The club.” 

“I thought you were at least 21.” 

“Nope. Just turned 20 last month.” I bit the inside of my lip. “That’s not a problem, is it?” 

“I mean no, but…” 

“My friend Elle convinced me to get a fake I.D my freshman year.” 

“Ah.” A moment of silence. “So, you go there often?” 

I couldn’t help but laugh. “Small talk? Damn, Jennifer.” 

“I don’t know what else you want me to say!” She laughed along with me. “I didn’t expect you to be 20, is all.” 

“I know. A lot of people think I’m older.” I curled my legs up closer to my body. “My mom used to tell me I acted mature for my age.” 

“Funny enough, my friends say the same about me.” 

The rest of the night was filled with laughter and sushi, considering my stomach growled and JJ told me to eat something. We talked about a lot, stuff ranging from Professor Alvez’s dog to her neighbor Penelope who lived across the hall who always bought her cookies on Wednesday mornings. We ended up somehow shifting so we were sitting together on the couch, me maneuvering my way underneath her arm, curling into her side. Her hand aimlessly ran through my hair as we talked, and it was nice. It felt… normal. 

“So… tell me about yourself. I want to get to know you. I know this is weird considering we met through a one night stand, but…”

“It feels different-  _ we _ feel different.” I finished her sentence, knowing where she was going with it. “But yeah um, I’m a third year Criminology major with a Communications minor, um… I have a brother who works for the FBI… uh… I like dogs, my brother’s wife has a pet bird that absolutely loves to poop on me whenever I go over to their house… um…” 

JJ chuckled. “Criminology and Communications?” 

“Yeah, I want to be a media liaison for the FBI.” I felt my cheeks turning red. 

“That’s really cool. I thought I was going to work for the FBI, but I ended up choosing the teaching path instead.” 

“What made you choose teaching?”

“Well, my sister Rosaline is a teacher.” she started, a small smile forming on her face. “She’s five years older than me, and for the longest time I looked up to her. I still do, if I’m being honest.”

“She sounds amazing.” 

“She is. When she was student teaching, she had me go over all of her lesson plans since I excelled in English, and through doing that I found my love of being a teacher. So, I changed my track midway through my freshman year of college and instead of going into Criminology like I originally was, I switched my major to Teaching with an interest in English and did a minor in Criminology so I could teach in that field if I wanted to..” 

“Wow.” I looked up at her. “I couldn’t imagine what I would do if I didn’t get into the FBI. It’s been a lifelong dream of mine.” 

We continued talking for about another hour when I remembered I had to do homework for her class, and unwillingly untangled myself from her grasp so I could go grab my bookbag. I bought it back over to the couch, sitting back where I was and took out my iPad, unlocking it. I pulled up notify and loaded up her class notes, knowing she was watching me over my shoulder as I started to re-annotate her lecture, which was playing softly in the background through the speakers on my iPad. She was scrolling through her phone, every now and then moving her hand to type something out. I was halfway through the lecture when I felt a pair of eyes on me, staring into the top of my head. I paused the recording, looking up at her.

She placed a kiss on my forehead, leaning her cheek against it. Without hesitating I set my iPad down on the table along with my apple pen, getting up and turning towards her. Our lips met in the middle as I sat myself on her lap, straddling her. Her hands wrapped around my waist, pulling me as humanly close to her body as she could muster. I felt my shirt slowly rise up and I shivered, feeling her fingers run over the skin of my lower back. I grabbed a fistfull of her hair, holding it tightly as I pulled her head back slightly so I could kiss her easier. 

“You really like hair pulling, huh?” She whispered against my lips in between kisses.

“Is that a problem?”

“No, I like it. I like it a lot.” 

I pushed our lips back together, holding her hair tighter as she moaned into the kiss, her grip on my waist becoming tighter. I felt her pushing me down onto the couch, moving so she was on top of me, and I gladly let her do it. I let my now free hands explore, letting them run up and down her abs as we continued making out. I pulled her down towards me, opening my legs so she could rest comfortably in between them, closing the space between us. I slid my hands up to her back, deciding to return the favor she gave me the other night, scratching down her back as she kissed me, causing her to shiver. She pulled away for air, the both of us breathing heavily. 

“Mm… getting feisty now, are we Y/N?” 

“What are you gonna do about it,  _ Professor _ ? Mark me down?” 

“Well, if you insist-”

She moved my sweater to the side, going down to my collarbone and placing kisses across it, stopping every little bit to leave a mark. I pulled her jaw up with my hand, forcing her to look at me as I pulled her close, barely touching her lips with mine as I ran my free hand down her stomach once more. The pupils of her eyes turned darker as our lips crashed back together, her pulling me up into a sitting position so she could wrap her hands around my back, putting one of her hands into my hair. A moan escaped and she smirked into our kiss, pulling me back by my hair to look at her. 

“Get back to work, or I’ll mark you down for real, Y/N.” 

She climbed off of my lap and got up, going over to the kitchen to grab something from the fridge. I sat there for a second, trying to catch my breath. She came back with two bottles of water and I took one from her, opening it and taking a big sip, hoping that the coldness of the water would help cool me down. JJ curled back into her spot on the couch, holding out her arm for me to curl back under her. I made sure I left enough space for her to get to her laptop, since she bought that over this time, and I continued listening to her lecture, writing down more notes. We fell into the same routine as before, her taking her arm when she needed to type something out, or when she needed to adjust her laptop. Finally, around eight pm I finished, and I was able to check my messages. As I expected, I had multiple messages from Elle, asking where I was and if I was okay. I sent her a quick response, telling her I was spending the night with a friend, mostly so she wouldn’t push me for answers right now. I checked my class board where all my classes were posted, making sure I didn’t have any more homework that was due except for JJ’s before sending it in, copying and pasting it since I had typed out a response earlier that day during my lunch break. 

When I knew all of my homework was in, I finally was able to relax, pulling up my game of Solitaire from earlier and continuing it. I shifted so JJ could take her arm back and grade, knowing that she had a bunch of assignments to grade before class in the morning. The two of us just sat around, doing our own thing in the presence of each other, and it was nice. It felt… normal, per say, despite the fact that absolutely nothing about our situation was normal. I just felt so at home with her, and I didn’t know what was going to happen after we finally figured out what to do. Deep down, I know we both didn’t want to have the conversation about what we were going to be, but it had to happen eventually. Even if it wasn’t tonight. I don’t think either of us wanted to ruin the atmosphere of the apartment. 

Around 9:30 I started getting tired, and a yawn slipped through my lips before I could stop it. I felt JJ chuckle, moving her laptop so she could adjust herself so I was laying down on her lap.

“You tired?”

“Yeah, kinda.” I yawned again. “I can get going-”

“Nonsense. I’m not letting you walk home in the pitch black.” 

“JJ, I have pepper spray.”

“And your senses are down because you’re tired. Come on, you’re sleeping here tonight.”

She helped me get up off the couch and I took my bag into the bedroom with me, grabbing the stuff I threw in there to change into. I heard a rustling behind me and realized that JJ was changing too, and out of respect, turned around so I didn’t look. I pulled my shorts on and walked into the bathroom, wetting my hands and rubbing my face, attempting to get some of the makeup off. Even if I didn’t get all of it off, some was better than none. Elle and Emily would have my head if they realized I slept in my makeup sometimes, but at this point I was tired and wanted to go to sleep. I dried my face off on my shirt, not wanting to ruin her towels, walking back out to the main part of the bedroom, where she was lounging on her bed, continuing to grade. I slipped in next to her, smiling as I went under the covers, the smell of JJ surrounding me. 

“Goodnight, hon.”

“Goodnight Jayje.” 

And with that, I slipped off to sleep. 

  
  
  



	5. Chapter 5

I once again woke up in JJ’s bed, smiling to myself as I stretched, getting up and rubbing my eyes. It was a bit earlier than the last time I was here, since my natural sleep cycle woke me up early. I heard some commotion out in the kitchen and smiled to myself, imagining JJ cooking breakfast for the two of us to munch on while we got ready for the day. I had waited for this moment for so long- to wake up to someone making breakfast for me. I couldn’t believe it was finally here. I walked out of her room, throwing my hair up into a messy bun. 

“Ros, it’s- it’s not that hard to understand.” 

I stopped before I turned the corner, biting my lip. Ros as in, her sister? Rosaline? I didn’t know that Rosaline was supposed to be coming over this morning. In fact, JJ hadn’t mentioned at all that anyone was coming over this morning. If she had known people were going to be here, why did she let me stay? 

“You know I can’t make french toast as good as you do.” 

“I literally use mom’s recipe. It’s not that hard.” 

I peeked my head around the corner, watching the two sisters dance around each other. I took a good look at Rosaline, and I could tell automatically that she was JJ’s sister. They had the same color hair and practically the same color eyes, though she was a few inches taller and a bit more broad shouldered than JJ was. I bit my thumb as they jokingly bantered, JJ laughing as Rosaline went to pour an egg into the pan with the toast- even I knew not to do that when cooking french toast. You coat the bread in the egg before you put it on the pan. I shifted my position and accidentally knocked my knee against the wall, causing both JJ and Rosaline to look over at me.

“Oh, uh… hello?”

“Sorry, I um… hi.” 

“Jayje, who’s this?” Rosaline turned to JJ, confused. 

“Uh… I uh… Rosaline, meet Y/N. Um… she’s my uh….” 

“We’re not labeled.” 

“Ah. I see.” the older blonde raised her eyebrow. “How long?” 

“Huh?”

“How long have you known her?”

“Oh, not that long.” 

This was not going good. 

“We’re just ‘vibing it’, as my friend Derek would say.” I jumped in, trying to take the spotlight off of her. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you two. I can-”

“No, Y/N, it’s okay.” JJ turned to me. “I should have mentioned last night that she was coming over. I forgot.” 

“That’s fine. I’ll just… I’m gonna go put a bra on.” 

I turned around and sped walked back into JJ’s room, shutting the door behind me. That was her sister standing in the kitchen. Her sister who is a teacher, who knows how unethical our situation was. This was great. This was just great. Peachy, even. I couldn’t believe that I let myself think that this was going to go perfect. Because it wasn’t. It wasn’t going perfect and it pissed me off because I haven’t had a good multiple night stand in a hot second and the fact that it’s getting worse and worse by the minute was annoying. Brushing my thoughts about our situation to the side, I grabbed my bra from yesterday that was sitting on the floor and slipped it on, looking at myself in the mirror to make sure I looked half decent before I went back out towards the kitchen, where JJ and Rosaline were talking in hushed tones. 

“Do you think I expected this to happen, Ros? I ran into her and we clicked. Okay? It’s as simple as that.”

“She’s ten years younger than you. She’s basically a child.”

“ _ She _ has a name, and her name is Y/N. She’s an adult who can make her own decisions,” JJ started to defend me. “Y/N could have ended this before it even started and you know what she did? She came and talked to me, about her fears and everything about the nature of our relationship. And we decided to not label it so we can figure everything out. So what she’s younger than me? I don’t care. A relationship hasn’t felt this right in a long time. And I’m not ruining that because she’s younger than me, okay?” 

I waited for the tension to loosen a bit before I walked out, acting like I heard absolutely nothing of what JJ said about how she felt. I slipped past the two of them and went over to the coffee maker, grabbing the coffee and putting some inside the little cup thingy, turning around as I felt Rosaline’s eyes staring into the back of my head. We made eye contact, and I could tell she was trying to read me and get a grip for who I was, and if I was right for her sister. That was something I definitely understood, since Matt did that to everyone I came across since I joined the Simmons family when I was two. The protectiveness was sweet. The coffee machine dinged and I turned around, grabbing my cup and realizing that I had no idea where her creamer and sugar were. As if on cue, JJ pointed to the fridge, and I walked over, grabbing the bottle soon as I saw it. 

I slipped out of their way and sat down at the kitchen table, grabbing my phone from my purse where I had plugged it into my portable charger, reading through my notifications. Not much happened overnight, and a few of the texts were to our little group chat between me, Elle, Emily and Derek while the three of them were going off about the latest episode of whatever reality show they were hooked on at the moment. I also noticed a text from Matt, and my heart skipped a beat. Matt usually doesn’t text me first unless something’s wrong.

**[3:34am- Matt]** Whenever you have free time to talk today, I got a question for you. Nothing scary, just something about a potential job :) 

I had to read that over a couple of times. A potential job? I shot him a quick “i’ll call you after classes!” and continued to sip on my coffee, quietly listening in on the sisterly banter between JJ and Rosaline. A few minutes had passed before I realized I only had an hour before my next class and I got up, grabbing my bookbag and purse. 

“Hey, I’m gonna head out, I got some stuff to do today.” 

“Okay.” she frowned. “Text me when you get back?”

“‘Kay.” 

I pulled on my shoes and walked out, shooting her and Rosaline a small smile as I left. By the time I got outside, I remembered I left my sweater and my clothes from yesterday upstairs and inwardly cursed to myself, knowing I didn’t have time to run back and get it if I wanted to change  _ and _ be on time for my classes. I made it back to my dorm with enough time to change and grab a protein bar before I ran to the Criminology building, barely making it. I couldn’t focus for the rest of the morning, almost dreading the class I was going to have with her later. No, that was a lie. I was dreading being in the same room as her today. I was able to meet up with Elle, Derek and Emily in between classes for lunch, and somehow was able to divert any questions they had about my current state of mind and talk about other things. I knew for a fact that Elle was going to drill me when we got back to the dorm later, but that was something I didn’t want to have to deal with yet. 

I walked over to the English building, debating if I should skip or not. I didn’t know how she was going to act around me, especially after the whole thing with Rosaline this morning. It almost seemed as if Rosaline didn’t approve of whatever it was we were doing, and it made me hesitant to go to class because I just knew she’d want to have a talk about it. Of course, I could lie and make something up and say I had to go, but if I were being honest with myself I’d probably just pack up as quickly as I possibly could and bolt out before she could say anything to me. Somehow we had let ourselves switch back to that weird spot we were in before our talk yesterday, and I hated every second of it. Before I could turn around to leave, I saw JJ walking up towards the building and knew that since she saw me, I kinda had to go to class now. I inwardly cursed, pulling open the door and going to the classroom, hoping she didn’t want to talk to me at all. I sat down in the back where I did the last class, pulling out everything I needed for the lesson. I kept my head down as she walked in the room, feeling her looking at me as she did so. I knew I was probably overreacting to how Rosaline was acting this morning, but it still hurt. To be called a child? I haven’t heard that insult since I was in elementary school. 

I’m not going to lie, the fact that Rosaline didn’t approve of me right away made me upset. Granted, we weren’t even a proper thing, but it still hurt. I don't know why it hurt like it did, either. JJ and I had no strings attached at the moment. We were simply just… well, ‘vibing it’. I didn’t know what it was going to become, and neither did she. And right now, I really didn’t want to be in this classroom, having to listen to her talk. I just wanted to go back to my dorm and force myself into school work and not think about it anymore. Thinking about it was giving me one of the biggest headaches of my life, and I didn’t want to have one anymore. I wanted to be happy, dammit. This wasn’t letting me be happy. 

When JJ dismissed the class, I practically threw everything into my bag and ran out of the room, walking to the nearest door and walking as far away from the English building as I possibly could. I made sure that JJ wasn’t following me before I looped around and made my way back to my dorm, waving to Aaron as he worked at the front desk. I walked upstairs and made it into my room without running into Elle, thankful that I could have a few quiet moments to myself. I needed to just sit down, work on my classes, and pretend that nothing was happening in my social life. Yeah, that sounded ideal. I could do that… right?

There had to be a way to get my brain to stop thinking about JJ. I had to face the facts. I was too young for her. According to what I heard this morning, she was 30. I was only 20. That was a pretty large age gap. I mean, I’m more than okay with an age gap, but if it made JJ’s family that uncomfortable, why would it be worth it to continue what we’re doing? I couldn’t put JJ through the agony of losing her family just because she wanted to be with me. I saw how Emily reacted when her mother pushed her away when she came out as lesbian, and said she was dating Elle. I didn’t want that to happen to JJ, and I wasn’t going to let myself be the reason she didn’t have a familial relationship anymore. I sat down at my desk, pulling everything out of my backpack, refusing to look at the red bubble on my messages because I knew JJ texted me and I really didn’t have the brain power to talk to her right now. I needed to focus on anything but her.

After I changed back into some sweats, I sat down at my desk, looking down at my phone, trying everything in my power to not read whatever message JJ sent me. I didn’t need to be bothered by my thoughts about her tonight. Before I started on my homework, I remembered Matt wanted to talk to me and clicked on his contact, hoping he wasn’t too busy. The FaceTime tone rang a few times before he picked up, smiling at me through the shitty wifi connection he had.

“ _ Hey chica! _ ” his bubbly voice burst through the phone, and I couldn’t help but smile. 

“I hope I’m not getting you too late.”

“ _ No, no, I just got back to the hotel. Don’t worry. What’s up? _ ” 

“You said you wanted to talk? About a job?” 

“ _ Oh yes! You absolutely did not hear this from me. Okay? _ ” 

“It’s that top secret?” I joked, looking around to pretend to shoo people out of my very obviously empty room. “Okay, my room is empty. Spill the tea.” 

“ _ So, I was able to talk to Cruz, and he said that there might be a possibility of a Liaison opening on the Behavioral Analysis Unit. _ ”

“Shut up.” my jaw dropped. “You’re joking. You’re actually joking. Say sike right now.” 

_ “I think one of your professors, Luke? I think he works for them. From what I heard, he’s going to reach out to you personally for the job. I don’t know when, but he’s going to ask you. _ ” 

“Oh my god.” I set my phone down against my lamp, not being able to comprehend what was happening. “Holy shit. Holy shitballs. Holy shitake mushrooms on a stick. Oh… My god.” 

“ _ Hey, language. _ ”

He chuckled. “Shut up Matt I’m manifesting. I’m manifesting my job with the FBI. I’m manifesting Professor Alvez asking me to work for the Behavioral Analysis Unit.” 

“ _ I think you’ll do great, kid. _ ”

Soon as he said that, flashbacks from this morning hit me like a ton of bricks and my happy mood went right out the window.

“I’m not a fucking  _ child _ , Matt.” 

“ _ Whoa- where’d that come from?”  _ he sighed on the other line. “ _ Are you okay? _ ”

“No.” I could feel the tears forming again, and I brushed at my face. “How much time do you have to talk?” 

“ _ For my favorite little sister? All the time in the world. _ ”


	6. Chapter 6

**tw: vague mention of Rosaline’s suicide attempt**

“ _ For my favorite little sister? All the time in the world. _ ” 

  
  


“Good, because it’s a long story.” 

And I told him everything. I started from the beginning, from when Elle begged me to come partying with her on Sunday to the moment I woke up in JJ’s bed this morning. I left out the dirty stuff, knowing Matt didn’t want to hear anything about it, and he sat there with open ears the whole time, listening to me rant about my feelings. About how hurt I was over everything that had happened over the past 48 hours. About anything, really. 

“And the worst part of it all, is that she’s ten years older than me. Ten years Matt. How can I feel like she’s the one I’m destined to be with if she’s ten years my senior?” 

“ _ Firstly, breathe Y/N. You’ll be okay _ .” 

“It doesn’t feel like it.”

“ _ And what your feeling, those are just society’s preconceived views of age gaps in relationships. You can’t let that stop you from accepting how you truly feel about… Jennifer? _ ”

“Yeah.” 

“ _ Believe me, Y/N, you deserve to be happy. I know you don’t think you do, but you do. I know it, your friends know it, even Kristy. And if Jennifer makes you happy, then it’s okay.”  _

“I’m scared, Matt. I’m scared because everything I’m feeling is so strong and I don’t know what to do. I just- I’m so hurt right now.” 

“ _ You’re what? _ ”

“Her sister called me a child yesterday. She just forgot to tell me her sister was coming. What kind of person does that? Forget to say her fucking sister is coming over. Her sister said, and this isn’t accurate but she said something like ‘she’s basically a child’ and I’m not going to lie, that hurt. It hurt really bad and I just... I don’t know what to do anymore.” 

“ _ You do know if she does hurt you- _ ”

“You have to hurt her back I know. But it wasn’t JJ… it was her sister.” I paused, trying to collect my thoughts. “I’m so confused on what I’m feeling. I don’t know what to do.” 

“ _ Well, what are you really thinking right now? _ ”

“That I really like her. I like her alot. More than I’ve liked anyone else, Matt. And I want things to work. But I don’t know if they can. She’s my teacher and-”

“ _ I’m sorry, what? _ ” 

“I uh…” my eyes widened, realizing what I just said. “Don’t be mad. Please don’t be mad. I-” 

“ _ Mad? I- Y/N, I’m not mad. _ ”

“You’re not?” 

“ _ No. Surprised, maybe. But not mad. I always knew you had a thing for older women, it was a matter of time before you found one of your own.” _

“But you’re not mad? I’m literally stuck in the most unethical situation of my life, and you’re not mad?”

“ _ No? Y/N, I’m not one to judge who you’re with. Or rather… not with but want to be with. I’ll support you the whole way. I will admit, being in love with your teacher is a bad tightrope to be on, but I know you’ll be smart about it. _ ”

“You’re not like… ashamed or anything? I’m not gonna be shunned?”

“ _ Well I can’t speak for mom, but I know that I’m never going to make you leave my life because you’re in love with older women. And Kristy is going to be super supportive too, she’ll love having another woman in the house to talk to. _ ”

“If your wife steals my girl- whatever she is…”

“ _ Did you just call her your girlfriend? _ ”

“Shut up Matt”

“ _ Y/N and Jennifer sitting in a tree…. K-I-S-S-I- _ ” 

“Goodnight, dumbass”

I hung up on him as he laughed his way through that stupid nursery rhyme, rolling my eyes as I realized that Matt was right. I shouldn’t give into society’s preconceived notions. I’m my own woman, and I can make decisions for myself. I grabbed my phone, shooting a text to JJ, explaining everything about how I felt and how I didn’t mean to shut down on her like that, knowing that if we were going to continue with whatever it was we were, we would need to be somewhat open with each other and talk about our feelings. I absolutely hated talking about my feelings, but I knew it had to happen eventually. Feelings sucked. They royally sucked. But they were part of life and it was something I needed to own up to. I hated owning up to my feelings- anyone could tell you that. It was the worst thing in the world, for me personally. I tended to stay closed off for a while, not letting people get to know the true me until I’m sure I won’t scare them away. But with JJ… JJ was different. I didn’t feel myself putting up those walls. I felt myself being… well, myself with her. It was something I wasn’t used to experiencing, and it was a weird yet nice feeling. 

She didn’t answer right away so I presumed she was working on lesson plans or something, or maybe still hanging out with Rosaline. I wasn’t sure. I threw my phone onto my bed, curling my legs underneath me and grabbing my iPad, getting ready to work on my assignments for the night. I felt a lot better than I did when I got back, and I was glad that I communicated my issues. Weird space or not, I was determined to make us work. 

\---

I woke up hunched over my desk, my iPad having slipped out of my lap and onto the floor sometime in the night. I rubbed my face, blindly reaching behind me to grab my phone so I could shut off my alarm. But it wasn’t an alarm, it was JJ calling me. At 3 am. 

“JJ?”

“ _ Y/N? _ ”

“Oh my god you’re crying. What’s wrong? Are you okay? Where are you?”

“ _ I’m at my apartment. Ros she- we got in a fight and I-I don’t want to be alone right now. C-Can you come over? _ ”

“Yeah of course I- I’ll be there soon, okay?”

I grabbed my bag and purse, shoving as many things as I could think of inside that I would need, thanking god that my classes for the day were cancelled due to the school having some big homecoming event that I had absolutely zero interest in. I made sure to grab some of my favorite teas, my makeup, my overnight stuff and last but not least, my baby yoda plush. He always cheered me up when I wasn’t happy so I figured why not bring him to JJ’s? I made sure to grab my key and pepper spray on the way out, rushing out of the building. I made it to JJ’s in record time, thanks to the Bird Scooter that was sitting right outside of my dorm. I punched in her code and ran upstairs, going straight to her apartment, finding the door already unlocked for me. I dropped my stuff down where I had put it the past few times I had come, looking around her living room for her. 

I heard the faint sound of water running and figured she was in the bathroom, and ran over there. When I got inside, I found her sitting outside of the bathtub with tears running down her face, naked, with her arms curled around her legs. Whatever Rosaline did to make her feel like this…. that girl was going to feel my wrath. But tonight wasn’t about that. Tonight was about JJ. She was shivering, and I could tell that the water that was running was cold. I shut it off and grabbed a towel, going down to her and wrapping her in it. She turned and cried into my shoulder, and I felt absolutely horrible. She looked so small, and so broken. I absolutely hated seeing her like this, and my heart broke at the sight of her looking so defeated. It was soul crushing. A few minutes passed before she stopped crying, looking up at me with bloodshot eyes. 

“Well this is kind of embarrassing.” 

“Hey,” I moved some hair behind her ear. “Don’t say that.” 

“I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to be sorry. Come on, let’s get you dressed, you’re shivering.” 

I led her to her bed and ran back out to the main room, grabbing my bag from where I had put it and quickly walking back, digging in to find the oversized sweatshirt I bought. I made sure she at least had a pair of underwear before trying to find her pants, going through every drawer until I found some. I finally found a pair of sweatpants, bringing them over to her and giving her a soft smile. She curled herself into my arms, letting me pull one of my hands up to run my hand through her hair in a comforting motion. Her hands played with my free ones, messing around with the little pinky ring I had with “arop” engraved on it, which was an homage to my group of high school friends who I stayed in touch with. Eventually her fiddling stopped and I felt a singular tear fall onto my hand. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” 

JJ let out a shaky sigh. “She’s mad at me.” 

“Can I ask why?”

“She’s just being the bitchy older sister I always knew her to be,” she started. “We were supposed to have a fun couple of days together, and instead she comes in judging me for literally every small thing I do. Who I have over, how I grade… everything. I couldn’t take it and I snapped and I- I don't know what happened. I… we were fighting and she told me I was gross and disgusting for what I was doing and how mom would hate to have me as a daughter. And when she left I… I just felt hopeless. Like I felt back in middle school when I found her in the bathroom and-” JJ let out a sob, her hand going to cover her mouth. “I didn’t want to be alone.” 

“Oh honey…” I wrapped my arms around her, placing a kiss onto her cheek. “I’m glad you called me.” 

“I’m sorry I… I didn’t mean to dump that all on you.”

“Please, I dumped all my emotions on you the first day we met, it’s only fair.” I turned her head to look at me. “Don’t ever apologize for having feelings, okay?” 

“Okay.” she paused. “Can you lay with me?”

“Of course.” 

I grabbed Baby Yoda from where I put him, climbing into bed opposite of JJ, wedging him between us. She chuckled, but accepted him as she curled up into my arms, falling asleep. 


	7. Chapter 7

Waking up in bed with JJ the next morning was probably one of the best feelings I’ve ever had. She was curled up in my arms, one of her legs shoved in between mine so she could be as close as possible. I looked down to see her still sleeping, her face still kind of red and blotchy from the night before. She looked so peaceful, laying there in my arms, and I didn’t want to wake her up but I had to pee and I was absolutely starving. Slowly but surely I made my way out of her arms, only pausing when she shifted a little bit, wrapping herself around the pillow that I placed where I was originally. I went pee and quietly padded out into the kitchen, looking around for anything I could use to make her breakfast. She deserved to be pampered today, and that’s exactly what I was going to do. 

Was it weird, considering that we weren’t a proper item? Yes. Did I regret any of this? Absolutely not. Like we said the other day, whatever it was that we were doing… it felt right. More right than any other relationship I’ve ever had. I finally found the cabinet with all the baking stuff in it, pulling out the ingredients to make pancakes. Pancakes were a good comfort food- at least, they were  _ my _ comfort food, so I figured it would be safe to make for JJ as well. I quietly rummaged around a bit before I found the pans, pulling one out and putting it on the stove for when I was ready to use it. As I started preparing the batter, I started thinking about everything I had gotten myself into this week. Matt’s words from our call last night came back to me, and I bit my lip as I thought about it. Society did create some weird ass notions about age-gap relationships. I remember doing some research on it for a class last year- there’s not much psychological difference from a regular relationship. From what I understood, the brain still made the happy love juice, despite the fact that their partner happened to be older than them. At least, that’s how I explained it to Elle and Emily when I was going over my term project with them. I shouldn’t let that stop me from being happy. If my brain was telling me JJ was being happy, then that’s what I should do, right? I should be with her. 

But, on the other hand, there were many ethical things wrong with this situation. If word got out, horrible things could happen to both of us. I couldn’t let that happen to her. Not only that, but she would lose her job, her future, and possibly her family. I could lose my credibility to work at the FBI. We both could lose our dream jobs, and I would hate it if I was the reason for that. But at the same time… being with her, in her bed, in her arms- it felt right. Like I truly belonged there. The universe brought us together for some reason, and part of me wanted to believe it was fate. That part of me that was holding onto my fairytale dream of finding my prince or princess charming was finally becoming satisfied, even though it was happening in probably one of the weirdest ways possible. 

I truly didn’t know what to do. 

The batter for the first pancake hit the pan, and I listened to it sizzle, the familiar sound being comforting, almost as if I were back home with Matt, Kristy, and the kids. I could practically feel them running around me, trying to see what I was doing. I smiled at one of the memories that flew through my mind, remembering it clear as day. It was one of the first trips home I took during my freshman year Thanksgiving break, and David was absolutely entranced by the fact that pancakes didn’t come frozen.

_ “Y/N, what are you doing?” David poked his head around my waist, trying to see what was happening. _

_ “I’m making pancakes.”  _

_ “You make pancakes? You don’t just microwave them like daddy does?” _

_ I laughed. “No, silly goose. That’s not the only way to make pancakes.” I ruffled his hair a bit. “You can make them from scratch, or from the frozen kind.” _

_ “From scratch, like how momma makes the cookies sometimes?” _

_ “Exactly like how momma makes the cookies sometimes.”  _

_ I helped him pull over a chair, adjusting it so he’d be able to kneel on it and help me mix everything together. I walked him through how to make pancakes, his eyes widening as I showed him how everything mixed together. Jake and Chloe ran through the kitchen behind us, Chloe rambling about something Jake took from her, all the while Jake was laughing and taunting her. Kristy said something I couldn’t hear from the living room, and I chuckled as I watched them all run around, missing the chaos while I was at school. _

_ “What do we do next?” _

_ “Well next, we add the wet ingredients.” _

_ “So the egg and the milk, right?” _

_ “That’s right. So tell me, what does the recipe call for?” I pointed to my phone, watching David carefully as he took it.  _

_ “Um… two eggs. Can I crack the eggs, Y/N?” _

_ “How about I help you? Cracking eggs is kind of hard.”  _

_ “Okay.”  _

_ David grabbed one of the eggs, holding it very carefully in his little hands as I reached my arm around him, setting him up to crack the egg. His face lit up when they cracked both times, and I could feel the joy practically radiating off of him.  _

_ “So, after we crack the eggs we add in the milk. Can you grab the milk for me?”  _

_ “Did you already measure it out?” _

_ “Yeah, I did. It’s right there in the glass measuring cup.” David handed it to me, and he watched as I poured it in. “And now, we stir.”  _

A set of footsteps jogged me out of my memory, and I remembered that I wasn’t alone- I was in JJ’s apartment. I realized now that I had a stack of at least five pancakes, and I was glad that my muscle memory knew what to do while I was lost in my thoughts. JJ came around the corner, still sleepy but mostly awake. 

“Mmm.. good morning  mi querido .” 

“Good morning, JJ.” she came over and rested her head on my shoulder, to which I placed a kiss on the top of her head. “How’d you sleep?”

“Fine, until I woke up to an empty bed.” she fake pouted. 

“Well, sadly I didn’t make the decision to become hungry, my stomach did.” I chuckled. “I hope you like pancakes.”

“I do. And you didn’t have to do this, I could have-”

“No no, it’s my treat. You’ve done so much to make me feel better, I should try and make you feel better too.” 

“The fact that you dropped everything and came last night made me feel a lot better.”

“Do you think I would have left you alone?” I raised an eyebrow as I flipped the pancake. “I’d like to think that I’m better than that.” 

“I don’t know, you were the first person I thought to call.” she looked at me sheepishly. “I know everything is weird but-”

“Weird? JJ, you make me the happiest I’ve been in a long time. Whatever we are, whatever we’ll end up being… I’m happy. And I hope you are too, because I don’t know if I could go on without feeling this blissful in the morning.” 

“I was actually going to ask you about that… that’s why Ros and I got in our fight. I… I want to give us a try, Y/N. Like, really try. Not whatever we’re doing right now. The dates, the fancy outfits, the whole nine yards.” 

I smiled. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Well then, Jennifer, I’d love to- OH FUCK! The pancake!” 

I turned around as I smelt the pancake burning, pulling the pot off of the burner before it caught on fire. I sighed, looking back behind me to see JJ trying to hide a laugh.

“Yeah yeah, laugh all you want. You distracted me.” 

“ _ I _ distracted you?” she walked over to me, wrapping her arms around me from behind. “ I think you distracted yourself, sweetheart.”

“Mm.. that’s debatable.” I leaned back into her touch “But you were standing right there, giving me that look you give me when you really want me to say yes.” 

“I do not have a look!”

“You do too have a look.”

“I’d beg to differ.”

“But to answer your question, JJ, I’d love to-” 

I got cut off once again as there was a jangle of keys coming from the front of her apartment, both of us locking eyes. We froze, not entirely sure what to do. Who was at the front door? Why did they have keys? Did they know I was her student? 

I was not about to get caught in my teacher’s apartment.

“Jayje! It’s Penelope! I bought cookies!”

Penelope’s heels clicked across the floor, and I held my breath as she came closer to the kitchen. I gave JJ a look, and she cleared her throat. 

“Pen I- now’s not a good time!”

“What do you mean now’s not a- oh. Hello.” 

I locked eyes with Penelope, realizing that I was most definitely in one of JJ’s crop tops and my sweatpants. And that I was covered in flour. And that JJ had her arms wrapped around me. Talk about first impressions. She looked between the two of us a few times, and her jaw dropped, realizing what was going on. 

“Oh. My. God! This is  _ her _ ! The girl from the bar!” 

“I- uh…” 

“Ohmigod I’ve heard so many things about you! Are you a hugger? I’m a hugger. Come here, it’s so nice to meet you!” 

Penelope pulled me out of JJ’s grasp and wrapped me in a hug, and I let out a nervous chuckle. What the actual fuck was going on? 

“Pen I-”

“Oh I was just dropping off my cookies, I was teaching a seminar on computer science yesterday morning and totally forgot to drop them off! That’s my fault, Kevin and I got distracted afterwards by the cutest little deer that was crossing through the park and-”

“ _ Penelope. _ ” JJ cut her off, giving her a look. “Um… you have to promise me you won’t tell anyone about this.”

“What do you mean? Jayje, you finally found someone! Do you know how long it took her to finally find someone? In the 20 years I’ve known her-”

“She’s my student, Pen.” 

“Oh-”

Penelope looked between us again, and it was as if gears were turning inside her head. She stood there for a second before she placed the cookies down on the counter, trying to figure out what she wanted to say. 

“Okay.”

“Okay?” both JJ and I asked at the same time, shocked. 

“You’re okay with this?”

“Well, from what I’ve heard she makes you happy, yeah?” the question was pointed at JJ, who nodded. “Then I’m cool with it. But,” she turned back to me. “If you break her heart I will have to murder you. Capeesh?”

“Uh… Capeesh?” 

“Good. Now that that’s settled, can I freak out about it now? You don’t get to answer. I’m freaking out about this. Ohmigod! I can’t believe it’s actually you!” 

I let out a chuckle. “Yeah uh… I’m me.” 

“Wait, I didn’t even ask your name! What’s your name?” 

“Y/N.”

“Well, Y/N, it’s nice to meet you! I can’t wait to-”

“- _ leave _ . She was just leaving, right Penelope?” JJ started pushing her towards the door, and I hid a chuckle. 

“I- I mean I guess I can leave but-”

“It was nice to meet you, Penelope.”

“Bye Y/N! I’ll be back to get to know you soon!” 

“ _ Bye _ Penelope.” JJ shut the door and I couldn’t help but laugh at the craziness of the situation. “Why are you laughing?”

“That whole situation that just happened? I got cut off twice telling you that yes, I’d love to try. I’d love to try us. Whatever we are.” 

“You would? Like, for real?” 

“Do you think I’d say no? I want to  _ try _ , JJ. Yes, we’re in a weird situation, yes it’s unethical as hell but I think if we tried we could make it work, you know?” 

She nodded. “Ground rules. Nobody can know, at least, not yet.”

“Yeah… about that. My brother knows.” 

“Y/N…”

“It slipped out! I didn’t mean to, I swear. I had a two hour FaceTime call with him last night where I ranted about everything I was feeling because I at the time, didn’t know that we were going to try and I was trying to figure out everything and-”

“Hey, you’re okay.” JJ grabbed my hands. “As long as he knows he can’t tell anyone.” 

“He knows.” 

“Okay. But from now on, we can’t tell anyone until the semester is over, yeah?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “What happens if people find out, though?”

“People as in?”

“My friends. Elle’s studying profiling, as is Emily- they’ll know something is wrong from the moment I refuse to tell them about what’s going on.” 

“We can cross that bridge when we get there. For now, let’s just worry about us and that wonderful breakfast you made. How’s that sound?”

“That sounds great.” 

I smiled, making sure I shut the stove off before we took the pancakes to the couch, the two of us curling together and starting to dig in. I was happy. She was happy. 

We were making it work. 

  
  



	8. Chapter 8

After our… eventful morning, JJ and I decided it would be a good idea to just stay in and relax instead of trying to go out like we were originally going to do. We also ended up having our looming talk about boundaries, and what we were okay with and weren’t okay with going forward- and that we absolutely promised to say if something hurt us in anything that we did. This whole situation was weird, and we were both aware of that. It was something that was going to be hovering over our heads the whole time I was in school, and we knew that it could mean some serious shit for both of us if something were to happen. It was terrifying to know that at any second either one of us could get the other in trouble, but it was a risk we were willing to take. That  _ I  _ was willing to take. 

We ordered in Chinese for lunch and were planning on watching a movie, but we most definitely got distracted. Our food was long forgotten on the counter as we made out, JJ leading me back to the couch. Her hands were all over my body, as were mine on hers, and it finally felt right. We weren’t holding back, we weren’t hiding from each other, and everything felt like it should be. Her hands reached the waistband of my pants and she started to pull them down, smirking at me as she did so. She moved my underwear and spread my legs apart as far as the couch would let her, slowly moving her head down. A moan fell out of my lips as she started licking, and it felt as good as I remembered it feeling.

Then, my phone rang.

“Fuck, it’s Elle.”

“Answer it.” JJ gave me a devious look. 

“Are you-”

The pupils of her eyes got darker. “Answer it.” 

“Yes ma’am.” I clicked the answer button, putting the phone to my ear. “H-Hello?” 

“ _ Bro are you like, alive? You haven’t answered any of my texts. _ ”

“I’ve been kinda busy.” I looked down to JJ, who was looking up at me through her eyelashes.

God that was hot.

“ _ Where the hell are you? We’re supposed to go shopping for the Labor Day bash at Alpha Sig!”  _

“Fuck I-” I drew in a teeny breath as my body lurched at JJ’s touch. “I totally forgot. I’m definitely not on campus right now.” 

There was a pause. “ _ Are you okay? _ ”

“I’m fine.” my voice went up an octave. “I’m fine.” 

“ _ Mmhmm okay. Um, when will you be back? _ ”

“I don’t-  _ fuck _ !” 

“ _ Y/N? Are you getting laid? _ ”

“I uh- I gotta gay- go. I gotta go. Bye.” 

I hung up and threw my phone back down on the table, biting down on my hand as JJ chuckled at my nervous stuttering. She went back to what she was doing and I grabbed at her hair, feeling myself getting closer and closer. I let go as she pulled away, giving me a few final licks to clean me off. 

“That was  _ hot _ .” 

“That was  _ hard _ , the fuck you talking about?!” I pulled JJ closer to me, trying to be mean but ultimately failing as her eyes stared into mine. “I definitely forgot I had plans to go shopping with my friends..”

“Well, do you wanna go?”

I pouted. “I already told them I can’t go to the stupid Labor Day party but they’re insisting that I at least go shopping with them and I just  _ know _ they’re going to try and drag me to the party either way. I don’t wanna go, if I’m being honest.”

“Then don’t.” JJ came up to curl next to me, sliding herself in between the couch and my body. “You can come over here instead and we can watch scary movies together and make cute crafts.”

“As much as I want to accept your offer, I promised Matt and his wife Kristy that I would hang out with my nieces and nephew’s that weekend instead of going to the party. I told Elle I’d go shopping with her to get her to stop begging me.”

“You have nieces and nephews?” 

“Yeah. Matt’s been married for 10 years. They have four kids.” I smiled. “I love them to death.” I paused. “I bet Kristy and Matt would love to meet you. Kristy always talks about how she’d love to have another female in the house to talk to that’s her age.”

“You really think so?” 

“I can definitely ask. Here, hand me my phone.” 

“Wait, like, right now?” JJ bit her lip. “You’re sure Matt’s okay with it?” 

“He’s more than okay. I promise you, Matt made sure that I knew he supports us.” 

I grabbed my phone from JJ’s hand, shooting him a text, knowing he’d answer me whenever he had a spare second. We talked a bit more about Matt and Kristy, and how they let me move in with them when our mom found out that I liked not only boys, but girls too. Matt and Kristy had known for a while since they were the first people I told, and opened the guest room in their house quicker than you could say “Can I move in with you?”. The Simmons family had been the most supportive people in my life, and I was lucky to have them. I told her about how my mom dropped me off at the police station when I was two, leaving me to be put up to the system. How Matt’s mom, Mi-Young, fell in love with me from the moment she saw me sitting in the little hospital bed, and how she took me home within the week after filling out everything she needed to do. How they raised me as one of their own, let me be a part of their family. Up until I came out, that is. 

Matt and Kristy let me move in the day after Mi-Young kicked me out. They came over to help me pack all of my stuff up, and let me move into their spare room. It was definitely weird at first, living with my brother, but I got used to it, as did Matt and Kristy. I fell into their routine easily and became a part of their family pretty quickly. I helped a lot with the kids too, and took a lot of pressure off of Kristy as well during her pregnancy with the girls. Matt appreciated it a lot, since he was overseas most of the time with the IRT. It was surprising that he was even going to be home for Labor Day this year- but it was a surprise I knew the kids would love. Kristy and I hadn’t told them yet, and we were waiting to see their reactions. We had it all planned out- we would be doing some crafts and Matt would just walk through the door, all nonchalantly. I wasn’t going to lie, sometimes I missed Matt. Like, a lot. I spent so much time with him growing up that him switching to the IRT and having to be gone really fucked with me. Kristy felt the same, and ultimately it’s what brought us closer together in the end. 

Kristy, in a way, became my second mom, and I really appreciated her for that. She helped me with so many things that I missed out on doing with my mom, like prom pictures, graduation pictures and so much more that I wished I was able to do with Mi-Young. Of course, she made her choice to kick me out, saying some bullshit about the bible or whatever, but you’d think she’d at least come to all of that stuff, yeah? It was upsetting, looking out into the crowd during my graduation to see the seat they saved for her empty, or to see her not show up to my prom picture session I took with the kids since I went alone. Going from having a mother to her barely talking to you really sucked. It really did. 

Oh my god… do I have mommy issues? 

“I don’t know, Y/N,  _ do _ you have mommy issues?” JJ raised an eyebrow. 

“Please tell me I didn’t say that outloud.”

“You definitely did.” 

I let out a groan, running my hands over my face. “I definitely did not mean to.” 

“If you ever wanted to try it-”

“Jennifer I am  _ not _ calling you mommy.”

She let out a laugh. “I said it earlier and I’ll say it again- whatever you want to try, I’m open to it.”

I hesitated. “So hypothetically…” I adjusted so I was looking at her. “If I  _ really _ needed you to take me to bed, like, say...right now...” 

“Say no more.” 

Without hesitation she scooped me up into her arms, and I let out a gasp at how strong she truly was. When we got to the bedroom she threw me onto the bed, a devious look in her eye. She got on top of me and started kissing, pulling her shirt that I was wearing off and throwing it somewhere behind us, as well as my pants. Her hands explored my body as I took off her remaining layers, grabbing her hips and pulling her down to me. She gave me a look before she kissed down my neck, making her way down towards my hips. She opened my legs and came back up to kiss me, her fingers playing around until they were wet enough to slide inside. She easily slid three in, a smirk forming as she pulled away to push my legs further apart. Her thumb brushed my clit and I gasped, grabbing at the bed sheets beneath me. JJ’s free hand came up to my stomach, holding me down as she moved closer to my center, placing her mouth where her thumb had been moments before. A moan fell out of my lips and I now realized why she was holding me down- I was doing everything in my power to push my hips closer to her, to get her to do more. But I was stuck in that position. 

“Fuck mommy-  _ fuck _ !”

She started curling her fingers, and I let my head fall back, pleasure overtaking my system as she continued to pump in and out, watching me react to her fingers through her eyelashes. The knot in my stomach grew and grew until I finally let go, feeling warmth everywhere as I let out probably one of the loudest moans of my life. JJ pulled away as I moaned, and I looked up at her, confused. 

“Are you- are you wet?” I pushed myself up on my elbows.

“Yeah. You just squirted.”

“I did what now?” 

Her eyebrows raised. “Squirted?” 

“Is that a bad thing?” 

“No?” she let out a light chuckle, smiling at me. “ Y/N, do you know what squirting is?” 

I paused, thinking. “No.”

“It’s basically female ejaculate.” 

“Oh-” I sat up, concerned. “I didn’t- you’re okay, right? I didn’t hurt you doing that?” 

JJ laughed. “It doesn’t hurt me, hun. I wanted to make sure  _ you _ were okay. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you make that noise before. But you are okay, yeah?” 

“Please, that was amazing.” I pulled her over to me, pushing her hair out of her face. “I haven’t felt that good… ever.” 

“Good. I bet I can make you feel even better, though.” 

“Oh?” I raised an eyebrow, almost as if I were challenging her.

“Let mommy take care of you, darling.” 

I almost lost it then and there. 

“ _ Fuck _ JJ-”

She placed a finger on my lips as she reached into her bedside table drawer, pulling out a dildo. “Are you okay with toys?” I nodded. “Perfect.”

She grabbed a bottle from the drawer as well, putting something on her hands and rubbing it onto the toy before placing it in my folds, teasing me a little bit. Slowly she pushed it in, and it took everything in me not to push further down into it. I finally felt it go in all the way and I let out a moan, pulling JJ up to me and kissing her hard. The hardest I’ve ever kissed her, honestly. She continued to move the dildo in and out, kissing me with the same fever that I was kissing her. I ran my hands down her back, pretty sure that I was leaving scratch marks over the ones I had left earlier but at this point, I didn’t care. I felt like I was on cloud nine, and Jennifer Jareau was the reason I was there. 

“Fuck I- right there! Don’t stop!” 

“Don’t stop what, darling?” JJ started to slow down. 

“Don’t stop, mommy. Please-  _ fuck _ me mommy.”

She started to push faster again as I felt myself edging closer and closer, needing the release and needing it now. A couple of hard thrusts later I finally came, screaming out her name as I felt my body shake with pleasure. I pulled her back closer to me and hugged her close, panting heavily. We laid there for a few minutes before she rolled off of me, laying on her side and turning to look at me. I turned my head to look at her, and was met with a look of adoration and something else that I couldn’t quite put my finger on just yet. Before she could say anything I got on top of her, smirking. 

“And what do you think you’re going to do, darling?”

“So many things, Jennifer. So many things.”

  
  



End file.
